Architect of Lies
by Akiko Raikou and Kouri Hakumei
Summary: K- I'm constantly caught between what everyone wants from me, and knowing if I give them that, I might just disappear. How can I endure when they all want something different from me? I messed up. How could I have hurt so many people?


**Okay, so I had to do an English project... and here it is, my short story :) enjoy! please review!**

**~Kouri**

* * *

Architect of Lies

My brother always used to pressure me to be myself. But I always wondered, which self do I be true to? I'm constantly caught between what everyone wants from me, and knowing if I give them that, I might just disappear. The fear of losing my true self was so great I was blinded to reality, to what was really going on in the world around me. I've messed up. How could I have hurt so many people? Worst part is I didn't even realize I was doing such a thing.

I pressed down on the accelerator, now approaching 80mph on this outstretched, rural highway still in my baby blue prom dress, thinking of how I was going to apologize to Logan. Trees raced pass, gradually smudging to a blur as the mountains beyond barely lurked in my vision against the setting sun. I needed to focus, it was essential for me to get to him as soon as possible. Six hours to go meant six hours of searching myself for where I went wrong…

--

_"Paige? Have you cleared off tables two, three, and eight yet?" my mom questioned, a tint of mocking in her voice._

_"Umm, yeah." I said quickly, reluctantly straightening from my slouched position at the table looking out at the snowcapped mountains. I gestured to the full tub of plastic cups with coffee residue and an assortment of dirty dishes piled by the sink. "The people from five and nine just left. So I'll get to those," I offered in attempt to draw her attention away from my indolence. _

_She nodded, her eyes allowing a slight, thankful smile as she chuckled, "You were daydreaming again."_

_I grabbed yet another plastic tub and went to clearing the tables, scrubbing them clean when I was finished. "Can't seem to help myself I guess." _

_My mother eyed me with concern, something she seemed to do a lot of these days. "Listen, honey, I understand working on Saturday's isn't your idea of fun but I really need you to focus. Your father won't be back until Tuesday so I need your help."_

_I tried concealing my sigh as I set down the dishes next to the sink; today had been very busy and hard to keep up with. People were coming in and out con__sistently, leaving me bounded to work when I could be out enjoying this beautiful day. "I am focused."_

_Now my mother was usually the cool and collected type, but almost instantly I could pick up on her irritation. Here comes another lecture. "Then what's with your grades? You used to be a straight 'A' student, Paige, and I get your report card and see how much you've slipped!" There was a pause, and a sickening silence enveloped the room. "I understand you're on the softball team and that's a big part of your life, but you must concentrate on school."_

_--_

My phone vibrated urgently against the cup holder, and I answered immediately once I saw who it was. "Hey." I stifled through thick emotion.

"Hey. You alright? I'm worried about you." The blare of the music in the background made it hard to make out what he was saying, but his voice was comforting.

"Yeah I'll be fine… but Logan?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks, for everything. I mean it."

"You know I'm always here for you. Call me if you need anything."

"I will. See you later."

_--_

_The crack of the ball against the bat set me in motion. I moved hastily across the dirt field to the bright, yellow ball bouncing towards second base and stuck out my mitt to seize it, determined to get the last out at first. I stumbled, missed the ball entirely, and cringed at the harsh bellows of anger projected at me from our dugout. _

_"What was that?! You shoulda had that shortstop! It was RIGHT THERE!"_

_I shook my groggy head, hoping the gesture would rid me of the sleep deprivation I was enduring from late hours of studying. I inwardly yelled at myself as I watched the center fielder throw the ball in to the pitcher. Dirt kicked up as I moseyed back to my position and tried to ignore the disapproving looks I received from my teammates, though I knew I deserved them. I took a deep breath before arranging the next play, "two down, one to go, infield easiest base! Two or one!" _

_"STRIKE!" The stout man clad in blue made his indication from behind the catcher. Another pitch went flying across the plate. "STRIKE TWO!" _

_The batter's agitation was evident, and when she rearranged herself back in the batter's box I knew something was coming. When the ball presented itself to her, she smacked it, a line drive right between third and I. Instinct took over and I thrust myself at it, barely catching it and landing in the dirt. As I rose, the crowd burst out in cheer and I heard a yell of protest from someone on the other team. _

_"Yeah! Way to go Paige!"_

_Although I tried I couldn't suppress the smile from emerging onto my face, I had finally done something right for once tonight. _

_I hustled back to the dugout, receiving high-fives, hugs, and compliments from everyone on the team, everyone but the coach. _

_He pointed a cruel finger in my direction. "You and I need to have a talk."_

_Confusion materialized within me. I understood my error from before, though I just made that great play. I brushed it all aside to give my congratulations to the other team, and when the others had packed up their bags and left, I got what was coming. He must have caught every single error I had made that night, some I didn't even recall, and he scolded me for them all. _

_"But coach, I just made the last out! I got the out!" I was furious now, but didn't dare to let the actual essence of my emotions spew from my mouth._

_"You were making errors all night, so don't you go thinking that one play will make up for it! What has happened to you?! Paige, if you don't get back in the game and devote yourself 100%, don't play at all."_

_I was shocked. Completely, totally, and utterly shocked. All I could do was gape at the coach I once believed to be cool. Next thing I knew I was sitting in my car, desperately fighting the tears pushing at the back of my eyes as I turned on the ignition. _

_--_

They all wanted something different from me. Each and every one of them! My mother wanted me to focus on school more, my coach softball. It wasn't long until I heard complaints from all my friends about the hard shell that I seemed to develop over time. With my brother gone no one seemed to understand me anymore, and why would I strive to please others when I myself was fading away? I didn't know who I was, trying to please so many people at once. But with a guard, something to keep their negative influences out, I assumed I was invincible. Boy was I wrong.

The hospital in the distance urged me onward, its multiple lights emanating off of the night sky, shrouding the darkness. I was almost there. _I'm coming Brody._

_--_

_Zoe barked ecstatically as I finished pulling my tennis shoes on, beating me to the door in awareness of my plans for the day. Her blue eyes gleamed up at me while I attached the leash._

_I smiled, "you ready for a walk?" This was going to be a great day, I just knew it!_

_I heaved the door open and we were off to meet with my friends and their dogs at the park. The sun shone brilliantly, and billowy white clouds made their slow but obvious trek across the blue sky. A crisp wind toyed with my auburn hair as I sat with my childhood friend, Logan, and threw the Frisbee to my husky. The rest of the group strangely had to go to the bathroom at the same time, leaving me in thought over their intentions and alone with a guy that never seemed to leave my thoughts. _

_I let out a laugh as I noticed our dogs wrestling for the toy, barely catching Logan's __captivating smile directed towards me. _

_--_

I ran through the sliding glass doors and confronted the lady at the front desk, "Brody Williams, which room is Brody Williams in?" I took the moment to catch my breath from the sprint from the parking lot as she slowly searched her data. I drummed my fingers against the countertop impatiently.

"Room 524. It's on the fourth floor, second hallway to yo-"

"Thank you!" I called, taking off once again. I stumbled my way up the stairs, only stopping to rip off the high heels restraining my speed, repeatedly reciting the room number in my head so I wouldn't forget. For what seemed like forever I searched the hallways, letting out a sigh of relief when I came to his.

"Brody…" My whisper was carried away by a steady beep coming from the monitor situated at his bedside. I silently approached him, the sight of his bruised and bandaged body unbearable. The tear that slipped from my eye crashed to the floor as I knelt down beside him and lightly grasped his hand. "I came as fast as I could, when I heard you were in the hospital," I choked. "You see I was at prom, Logan asked me. When Mom called I couldn't believe it. I had to see you, make sure you were okay." I couldn't clarify why but I felt the need to explain everything to him, after all I was sure he wouldn't wake up for awhile. I was right. It was five in the morning when he finally shifted slightly and his functional emerald eye cracked open, meeting my own green gaze. My hand eagerly squeezed tighter around his. "No stress." His voice was raspy and unfamiliar, but a delight to hear. "You lost yourself somewhere out there, didn't you? You've changed."

I laughed halfheartedly, "You're the one to talk. Since when were you the type of guy to drive under the influence?"

His eye closed and a trace of a smile was present. "All that I am, all that I ever was, is right here. So what if I make mistakes? Everyone does, and I'm still me."

Even though he wouldn't witness, I rolled my eyes. I was about to respond when a nurse entered the room cut me off. "Excuse me Miss, it's time for his check up and I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

I nodded faintly and departed with a smile. How life could go from fun and exciting to cruel and shocking I will never know. But Brody brought realization that if I kept my relentless guard up, living life to the fullest would be impossible, and intolerable.


End file.
